How often do you start off your day happy and content, and while driving to work, someone cuts you off and suddenly you are screaming every name in the book at that driver? Did you want to jump out of the car and point your finger in their face and give them a piece of your mind?

Have you ever questioned your reactions? And said, “Where did that come from?”

Where do those reactions come from? They are emotional exchanges created in childhood.  Reactions and triggers are caused by hurt feelings creating the emotional pattern as if you were doing something.


As children you weren’t emotionally mature enough to understand how to react. Most often children are not given an opportunity to consciously express themselves. (Which is why we have a society who is over-reactive and angry). This is the importance of mindfulness training now going on in schools across the country.

It’s important as a parent to give children an opportunity to express their feelings and not reprimand them without a cause. Otherwise, they grow up not understanding how to express their emotional feelings.


Anger and frustration are two of the most powerful reactive points. Many spiritual disciplines and religions teach us never to get angry. It’s okay to be angry. But, anger needs to channel out of your body in healthy ways.

Triggers are good because they show you where you are blocked emotionally. They give you clues to where past hurt feelings or emotional misunderstandings are hiding out and need to be resolved.

Remember whoever triggers you is not the source of the problem they are only the button pusher.

5 Steps to Healing Emotional Triggers

Determining where the emotional hurt began takes a little investigative work by you. Triggers are most often not obvious and takes a little digging, but it’s well worth the time.

  1. Breathe. Breathing is a great diffuser to any emotional upset.
  2. Try not to rationalize behaviors; rationalization and justification do not help you heal. In other words don’t say, “They did the best they could.”
  3. Stay present with the feeling. Work on not pushing the upset away or walking away.
  4. To heal, ask yourself, “What is the issue?”  Do you feel angry, hurt, disappointed or rejected? Keep a journal and write down your responses. When did this issue first occur with someone else?  Keep inquiring until you are satisfied and you have come to the core of the issue. Remember it’s not the person who triggered you rather it’s a past experience with mom, dad, siblings, school teachers or other authority figures.
  5. Once you find the original situation then you can forgive that person and let go of the emotional pain.

How will you know you are healed? Healing comes when you no longer get triggered by the same emotional stimuli leaving you feeling free with an open heart.

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