At the Core

Our reality is a product of what we think and believe. From our very first breath we begin to form impressions of the environment around us. From here we create lifelong patterns that eventually show up in relationships, careers and become general life experiences later on.

Personal foundations resemble the foundation of a house. It’s where we begin our life. The house needs an internal structure; the same is true for us. Our structure starts very early in life and is called a belief system.

The number three creates our foundation and it correlates to the symbololgy found in Christianity of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost or in Hinduism with Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. Science too is finding the number 3 at its core understanding.

At the foundation of each person lie three powerful life patterns: I Believe, I am Worthy and I am Love.

The sturdiness of our core foundation is built on three strengths:

  • What we believe
  • What is our value
  • Are we loved?

This part of the belief system operates in every person. It’s a function woven into the fabric of who we are and the foundation on which our lives take shape.

By the time we reach the age of two or three years old, sometimes younger and sometimes older, our perception of the world around us changes. We begin shifting the core patterns of I Believe, I Am Worthy and I Am Love, to I Don’t Believe, I Am Not Worthy, and I Am Not Loved. This operating system guides us until it is altered later in life.

These sensations are not conscious and not everyone changes all three core patterns at once, but most people do. Of course we don’t actually hear the exact phrases of I Am Not Worthy or I Am Not Loved. Rather, it’s an experience based on perception of events in our current reality that causes us to believe we are not worthy or not loved.

 I Believe

I believe initiates life into forward movement. The first leg of the foundation stem from impression as an infant is, “Will I be taken care of?” This forms an initial understanding of the parameters of life. Will we feel secure? It’s our basic survival instinct.

Belief decides the outcome based on the information we receive from our current surroundings. We then create a framework that helps us adapt to the environment, our parents and the culture.

In our first three years, if we experience a healthy balance and our needs are met, then our belief in the world around us becomes a sturdy one and the first leg of the core foundation is set. However, if our needs are not met, the first leg is not firm and the foundation becomes unstable.

As we mature this basic instability translates into mistrust, struggle and doubt, and demonstrates to us that what we believe can never come true.

This is why reciting positive affirmations don’t always work. The core pattern of Belief is out of balance. In other words, we don’t believe the affirmation even works, although intellectually we think we believe it. We repeat the affirmation to remind ourselves that indeed we are what that affirmation states. The sheer act of repeating affirmations implies that I don’t believe, because if we believed it we wouldn’t need to recite anything, we would become it.

When a strong foundation of Belief is in place we can accomplish anything we set our hearts and minds to.

I Am Worthy

The second step we take as an infant is a judgment call on our value. Of course as an infant we aren’t as emotionally sophisticated yet, rather it’s a feeling we perceive of our environments. If personal needs such as touch and love are not met or not met as often as desired, we begin to experience the sensation of “I must not be wanted” and a questioning our personal values takes shape.

Feelings of not being good enough create self-sabotaging scenarios, causing us to buy into a lack. This deeply rooted pattern leads to a loss of self-confidence, and self-esteem issues arise.

How can we recognize when our self-worth is out of balance? Ask, “Do I regularly place the needs of others before my own?” Or, “Is it difficult to handle success?” “Is it challenging to receive complements?” If the answer is yes, then the core pattern of self-worth is out of balance.

Growing up, we often hear, “Do more,” “Achieve better grades,” “There isn’t enough,” and “Can’t you do better?” This repetitive script undermines our sense of self-esteem, especially when a parent’s angry tones and disappointment are added to it. When parents or authority figures consistently say, “You are nothing,” or, “You won’t make anything of yourself,” we start to believe these statements as true and it causes us to live life as an adult from the pattern of unworthiness begins to attract self-sabotage and doubt instead of self-confidence.

For example, when a professional athlete receives a million dollar contract and then severely injures himself, he is playing out the pattern of I Am Not Worthy. We don’t have to be a professional athlete, though, to experience I Am Not Worthy.

The pattern of unworthiness plays out in many other professions, too. For instance, a businessman might feel he doesn’t deserve his wealth and therefore will choose bad investments. Or we take a low paying job when we know deep in our hearts that we deserve better.

Unworthiness is often passed from generation to generation without us even being aware of it. Self-sabotage then finds a million different ways to undermine our lives.

I Am Love

The third leg of our foundation is how much are we loved? The pattern of love begins before our actual birth. As babies we come into the world, and provide a quality of love that can’t be explained. Newborns are bundles of unconditional love that spill over to everyone. They are simply adored.

When family members return to their daily routines and the infant is lying alone for the first time, a sensation begins to creep in of “I’m not being cared for” or “I must not be lovable.” We begin to perceive fear and rejection around love. As we mature this pattern can show up as feeling distant or fearful of commitments in relationships or defensive and sarcastic.

Love is amazing because it’s all around us. We see love in nature, in our pets and through kindness yet we have such a difficult time receiving love for ourselves. One reason is, we know all our private secrets, every shadow and judge them, wishing they were different.

Self-love is shown through the actions we take towards the self. It consists of three components:

  • Nurturing
  • Honoring
  • Accepting

Nurture means to nourish you. How can you nourish yourself? Eat healthy, organic foods, drink purified water and eat food that is in season. It can also mean taking time to learn more about you. Listen to your heart. Take time for yourself. Enjoy an afternoon at the movies, a walk in the park, or take a yoga class, read a book or anything that brings a pleasant inner smile. It’s important to make time for the simple things.

Honor is self-respect. Every morning after the shower as you ready for the day, look into the mirror and bow to the self. Lead with your heart and pay homage to the uniqueness that is you.

Self-acceptance changes everything. Acceptance is a deep surrender and tells you that you are okay with who you are and where you are in life right now.

When you accept yourself things can change for the better. This acceptance is done without placing judgment on anything. Acceptance with a judgment would look like this, “I love myself but I don’t like my hair.” This is not self-acceptance rather a conditional acceptance. Love all parts of you even the parts you might deem as “bitchy”.

As adults our lack of love for ourselves can lead to more damaging experiences like addictions and drug abuse. It’s impossible to love oneself when one ingests poisons.

Foundation

Core beliefs create our foundation. It’s not what we consciously know — it is what we experienced now buried in the unconscious mind that is running our lives right now.

The three core beliefs, I Believe, I Am Worthy and I Am Love start our lives moving forward when we are the least conscious of our surroundings.

Do you Believe your are Worthy of Love?

On top of the three foundational beliefs (believe, worthy and love) are six other core beliefs:

  • Fear
  • Anger
  • Confusion
  • Resistance
  • Denial
  • Emotional Addictions

 

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© PAULAMURAN